Statistics

Here's an article I read that deals with the statistical possibility of a man being accused of rape aptly titled  5 Things More Likely to Happen to You than Being Falsely Accused of Rape.

For those of who want to read it yourselves here's the link:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/charlesclymer/5-things-more-likely-to-happen-to-you-than-being-f-fmeu

You have two minutes... the rest of us will wait.

For the rest...

This article covers a list of  five possibilities traditionally understood to be unlikely including winning the lottery and compares how much more likely it is for said thing to happen then for someone to be falsely accused of rape.  Number 5 on the list, is how much more likely a man will be raped than he will be falsely accused of raping someone else. 

The answer?  82,000x more likely that he will be raped.

Inconceivable?  I think not, the numbers don't lie.

Issues with men, rape, thinking of things from the male perspective- twisting the viewpoint.  More men are raped than falsely accused, yet the bigger issue society is concerned with is the second.  Only about 2% of rapes are false accusations, that means 98% of them are true.  Despite those numbers people in general believe that women lie about rape 50% of time.  That means that 48% of women who are raped are categorically disbelieved about it.

This leads into this issue of ignoring the big issues for a smaller one.  Yes, false accusations are a problem.  They can have a negative effect on those falsely accused, the also make it harder for those who do suffer a rape to be believed when it happen to them.  However, the bigger issue is recognizing how many people are raped, and recognizing that we need to believe and support those who have the courage and fortitude to speak up when they are raped.  To accuse their attacker in our prevalent rape culture which frequently supports the rapist over the victim.

Another issue ignored when we focus on false accusations of men is that fact that men are raped as well.  Far more men are raped than falsely accussed, not recognizing that fact makes it even more difficult for victims both male and female to seek justice and support.

I'm about to link a relevant poem. don't worry I'm not making you read it.

Just listen, the dude will read it to you.

Here's a poem about rape I think is pertinent to the topic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko&noredirect=1

The poem discusses the issues that arise when our culture expects men to be sexual and sexually aggressive beings.  A young boy is raped, but because our society expects males to be ready for sex at any and all times, instead of supporting a child through trauma he is expected to enjoy his assault due to his gender.  That's wrong.  Rape is rape, no matter who it happens to when or how old.

When rape culture promotes the idea that men are sexual beings and that women have to protect themselves from men, it's bad for all genders.  This idea states that all men are sexually aggressive at all times, anything outside of that is deviant.  This idea states that all women are sexually passive at all times, anything outside of that is deviant.  Both of these ideas are wrong.  Not all men are aggressive and not all women are passive.  Also, those of whatever gender who are aggressive and/or passive need to be aware that consent is a necessary thing.

Retraining is what is needed.  All throughout our lives we should be taught that consent is important in all relationships and sexual activity.  From all partners.  If we teach consent it will change they way our society looks at the world.   If we all recognize consent as important that we all recognize that rape and sexual assault are inherently wrong.  Teach consent and we can change our culture for the better.

I'm done with the speechifying now.  Off you go.

The Game of Thrones

Okay, so I know I'm a bit late to the party but I got a bit behind on my TV watching with all the school stuffs in the way.  As it is, I know you've all likely heard at least a little bit about the scene in Game of Thrones where Jaime Lannister raped his twin sister Cersei Lannister.

She wasn't happy about it and neither am I.

Though now that I'm here I've got a thing or two I'd like to say.


Thing 1. The confusion from the actor and director about it being rape.

One of the many problems with this scene is neither the actor who played Jaime or the director in charge saw the scene between Cersei and Jaime as a rape scene.  Two of the principal players in the making of a rape scene apparently have no idea that a rape is in fact what they filmed. 
That troubles me.

How do they think this way?  Do their brains not work?

 

A majorly popular TV series shows a rape scene and sees no issue becuase its not recognized as rape by key players.  Here we are again with the lack of awareness about what rape and rape culture are.  Jaime clearly rapes Cersei, she continually says no and he forces sex on her anyway.  In the source material the two do have sex, but consensually, the only thing Cersei takes issue with is the location.  Getting it on by the body of your dead son in a church does come across as a big vulgar.  However with the way the scene was portrayed in the TV show, the issue is consent.  Cersei says no, Jaime doesn't listen.  By not treating the scene as a rape, the show ignores a major issue and supports rape as a part of culture.


Thing 2. The idea that saying yes once means eternal consent.

And now issue numero dos.  Part of the reason that it seems to be hard to recognize Jaime's rape of Cersei as rape is because they have had cannon consensual sex.  Our society has trouble recognizing that just because two people have had sex before that does not mean that every time they have sex thereafter consent does not need to be reestablished.  Each time you have sex with someone, no matter how many times you've done it before you need to establish consent again.  Just because someone says yes once, that does not mean you can continue to have sex with them again without another yes.  In Cersei's case she and Jaime had had sex many times before and even had three children together.  What Jaime did to her is still rape.  If someone says no, that means stop, you don't have consent, and anything you do afterwards is rape.

Now that the Things have had their say, onto the Conclusion!!

The continual representation of rape as a regular part of living in the world by popular media is part of the reason that rape culture is so prevalent.  When shows like Game of Thrones show rape scenes as part of life in the show, they perpetuate the idea that rape is a part of life everywhere.  To stop rape culture we need to change the way rape is portrayed in our media.  We can't expect to make a change in our culture without changing what we present to the world as normal.


I'm only one of many who had an issue with this scene, check out this article if you'd like to read more.
http://thinkprogress.org/culture/2014/04/21/3429107/game-of-thrones-rape/

Victim Blaming

Gonna talk some more @ victim blaming.  And how terribly bad.stupid.wrong it is.

Victim Blaming what happens when the victim of rape or sexual assault is blamed for the act.  Frequently this manifests as blaming the victim for wearing revealing clothing, too much makeup, being drunk/intoxicated, or alone.  The idea is that if the victim had made differnt choices they would not have been raped.

Listen to the faceless man.  He knows The Way.

Here is a link to an article that describes what happened to one family after their daughter and one of her friends were raped.
http://www.thewire.com/national/2013/10/family-driven-maryville-missouri-home-after-teen-sex-scandal/70489/
For those of you who don't want to spend your day in a rage about the stupidity of humanity, here's the down low. 

Two girls were raped at a party by older boys who filmed the rape, one of the girls got left on her front lawn overnight unconcious.  And instead of prosecuting the boys, the charges were dropped with an "oh boys will be boys" kind of attitude.  As an added bonus, the mother of one of the girls lost her job in relation to the event, the girl herself was cut from the cheerleading team, and her brothers were threatened with getting beaten by classmates.

Anyone else pictureing the boys and the prosecutor?  I know I am.

There are two major problems with victim blaming:

The first being that victim blaming promotes the idea that the rape was the fault of the victim.  That if the victim had made differnt choices they would not have been raped.  This all feed into the thought that it is the victim who is responsible for the rape.  Becuase society reacts and thinks that way, when someone gets raped they are punished soically for the event.  They are told to move past it, slutshamed for being raped, blamed for the event, and at time disbelieved about the rape itself.  Rape itself leads to major trauma, it causes more PTSD than combat.  When the victim is blamed for the rape by those around them it can lead them to believe that they are in fact responsible.  That somehow they were at fault for their own rape.  And that thought is incredibly damaging. 
Blaming a victim of rape for their rape leads to further damage of the victim and ignore the rapists actions.

Which leads me to point two.

The second problem with victim blaming is that it lays the blame for a rape at the wrong feet.  When you blame the victim you don't blame the rapist.  When you don't blame the rapist you teach the rape and sexual assault are acceptable acts both to the rapist and to everyone else.  Becuase the rapist doesn't get punished for raping they believe that there are not consequences for their actions, which is in fact what society is saying when they blame the victim and not the perpetrator.  Not blaming the rapist means that socially they feel vindicated in their actions.  
It also further perpetuates the idea that men are not able to control themselves and so women must cover themselves up and take precautions when they are with anyone, becuase you never know when the urges might overcome a man, even one who you conisder a friend.  The idea that men cannot control themselves is something that needs to change.  We need to teach our boys and men to be responsible with themselves and with others in all situations, otherwise rapists will continue to see themselves as blameless.

There, there, sad girl.  We can change things.

To combat victim blaming requires that we as a society recognize what the word victim means.  That the person we should blame for a rape is the rapist.  And only the rapist.  The victim had no say in their rape, and nothing they did or wore is at all relvant to the situation.  Victim blaming is an idea that needs to go away.  We need to diagnose the issue in our socity and then cut it out like cancer.

Victims need our support not our condemnation.

That One Song

That One Song...

Don't you hate it when a song with a great beat has absolutely horrendous lyrics?  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Blurred Limes

For those of you who don't know what I'm referencing or haven't actually listened to the lyrics.  Here's an edited version of the song.

"Blurred Lines"(feat. T.I. & Pharrell Williams)

[Pre-chorus: Robin Thicke]
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you
But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature
Just let me liberate you
Hey, hey, hey
You don't need no papers
Hey, hey, hey
That man is not your maker

[Chorus: Robin Thicke]
And that's why I'm gon' take a good girl
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
You're a good girl
Can't let it get past me
You're far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
I know you want it
I know you want it
But you're a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me
[Pharrell:] Everybody get up

[Verse 3: T.I.]
One thing I ask of you
Let me be the one you back that ass to
Go, from Malibu, to Paris, boo
Yeah, I had a bitch, but she ain't bad as you
So hit me up when you pass through
I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two
Swag on, even when you dress casual
I mean it's almost unbearable
In a hundred years not dare, would I
Pull a Pharside let you pass me by
Nothing like your last guy, he too square for you
He don't smack that ass and pull your hair like that
So I just watch and wait for you to salute
But you didn't pick
Not many women can refuse this pimpin'
I'm a nice guy, but don't get it if you get with me

[Bridge: Robin Thicke]
Shake the vibe, get down, get up
Do it like it hurt, like it hurt
What you don't like work?
 

Yes Spock, you heard correctly.  Blurred Lines = Rape.

So as you can see the lyrics are what I'm gonna term, "A bit problematic."  The title of the song Blurred Lines promotes the idea that the line between rape and consent is in fact a changeable thing.                      Which is WRONG.

 

Rape is sexual activity without consent.  The line between rape and not rape is very clear, did you have clear continual consent throughout?  If yes, Hooray!  If not, that's rape

The lyrics of this song are part of the issue in today's society that deals with the lack of clear understanding of what rape is.  As well as the expectiation that rape is just a part of our culture.  This song became hugely popular and most of the the listeners never took the time to analyze the lyrics.  One of the biggest issues in the song is the repeated line of 'I know you want it.'  Consent is the most important thing to have before and during sex, this line pushes the idea that the sexual aggressor doesn't need consent becuase he knows what the other person wants.  He knows without conversation or communication and in ignoring the other persons wishes, he never gets consent.

This song and others like in music today are an indicatoin of the level of acceptance of rape culture at the current time.  As a whole our society is so immured to the presence of rape that when it presents itself in our everyday lives we don't notice.

The song as discussed in other social media, if you would like to learn more about the controversy and issues with this song check out...
http://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/nov/13/blurred-lines-most-controversial-song-decade

Setting the Stage

This is what my words are for..
                     To make  a statement, to educate the masses and start the change.

Do what the words tell you, but do it with your eyes.  This blog isn't auditory.

So, to get the ball rolling I would just like to introduce the point of this blog and why I've decided to say something about this topic.

Rape Culture Is.  It exits as a part of social order.
It's part of the way we as a society think and react.  It influences the way we interact with the people around us everyday.  It shows up in our media and in our politics and in our interactions with other people.  The problem is that it negatively influences all of those things.  Rape culture is detriment to civilization and we should be working to eradicate it.

One of the biggest problems with rape culture as I see it is that awareness of rape culture as an issue is limited.  I only learned about the idea of rape culture as a college student.  I had seen the effects and recognized behaviors caused by rape culture as being detrimental to society, but I did not have a name for it.  There are still time when I catch myslef reacting with the prejudices that rape culture teaches.  So as way to combat that in myself by expanding my own knowledge of the subject and hopefully others as well

Next up:  What is Rape Culture?

Definitions:

 In feminism, rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society
,- Williams, Joyce E. (31). George Ritzer, J. Michael Ryan, ed. The Concise Encyclopedia of Sociology. Wiley-Blackwell. p. 493. ISBN 978-1405183529.

Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture.  Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.
Rape Culture affects every woman.  The rape of one woman is a degradation, terror, and limitation to all women. Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape. Most women and girls live in fear of rape. Men, in general, do not. That’s how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population, even though many men don’t rape, and many women are never victims of rape.  This cycle of fear is the legacy of Rape Culture.
-  http://www.marshall.edu/wcenter/sexual-assault/rape-culture/

A complex set of beliefs that encourage male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm . . . In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable . . . However . . . much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change. 
- Emilie Buchwald, author of Transforming a Rape Culture,

I know that was a lot of words, just a few more and you can take a nice little nap before a big day affecting social change.

Examples:  Rape culture is the way when a girl gets raped her wardrobe is part of the discussion as a cause.  Rape culture is the way the media is so sad for the lost futures of the rapers, 'they had such promising futures.'  Rape culture is the way people believe about half of women lie about being raped when only about 2% of claims are false.

Rape culture is wrong because it teaches everyone that men are sexual aggressors that can not control their own sex drives and that women are victims just waiting to be assaulted.  As it is rape culture promotes the idea that rape and sexual assault are a regualar part of our culture and is presented so in media and popular culture.  Lack of awareness of rape culture and its effects on our thinking and way of life make it harded to affect positive change
So I decided I wanted to say a couple things about the subject, maybe share some of the knowledge that I've come across.  The intent of this blog is to take a look at current events through the lense of rape culture and examine the presence and effects of rape culture on civilization.

I couldn't resist.  EXAMINE!!

For those of you who are interested here's a link to my other blog for more of this, but with less words.  http://www.tumblr.com/blog/fatalisfemina

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